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Well my friends a miracle has
happened in my life. I have been given a second chance at life. I am no
longer on death row. In June I received a call from my attorney that
the state had offered me a plea bargain, a life sentence. I told him I
needed to speak with my family and after doing so i decided no I did
not want to do that. This was offered to me at the beginning of this
ordeal and I refused then no I did not want it now. The hearing was to
be June 9 in Brownsville. I went into court on that morning and my
attorneys told me another plea bargain had been offered. and the
hearing postponed.
The attorneys and prosecutor were talking and they offered me another
plea which I also turned down. I felt that if I could receive something
better then I would try. My attorneys and the state talked that
afternoon and came up with a satisfactory arrangement for everyone
concerned. My attorney came to the jail that night and told me if I
would plead guilty and drop the rest of my appeals then I would receive
a 20 year sentence. Yes I decided to accept. The papers were drawn up
and I went back to Polunsky to wait for everything to be worked out.
In the time I spent while waiting I got to live around some of my good
friends like Chi-Town who was very happy for me. Andy, who I have been
friends with for years and several others. We got to laugh a lot ,
share memories of the time we spent with and around each other. There
were a lot of memories that were very sad like the death of good
friends and loved ones outside. Then there were also memories of
laughter and good times, playing basketball, handball, chess, and
scrabble at Ellis, going to the garment factory and working together
and making big meals from commissary on holidays. But these last 2
months have also been spent in quiet contemplation because this last 11
years have been pure hell. It has been very hard to deal with a world
dominated by death, a world of darkness and hopelessness by some. My
mind has been affected, my body affected, my family has been affected,
but I have tried to remain a man throughout it all. I have tried to
remain sane. The struggle has been extremely hard and for awhile I lost
my mind.
I truly did. People took my actions and words and made me into some
kind of leader but I never saw myself as a leader. In all reality I was
losing my mind and not being able to think before I acted. I was doing
things during our protest that I never would have done had my
mentality not been affected and it wasn’t until some very good people
and my family and Paula helped me see the direction I was headed. Those
of you who kept up with all that happened know that I have a heart that
cares. I truly do, and we did make a few positive changes for those who
are still on level 2 and 3, yet there is so much more that needs to be
done.
Knowing I was leaving I was elated yet a darkness still lurked because
I was leaving some very good friends behind, friends I know I will
probably never see again. Friends that will continue to suffer the same
things I did, the mental and physical breakdown of their minds and
bodies, friends that live in the shadow of death and torture. It is
still very hard to deal with because though I am no longer there when I
talk to the men here I still speak with us, we as I describe
death row.
These guys have no understanding of it nor do the guards. Right now I
am in a cell that is like level 3 because I am ex-death row. They
all know death row exists but how much more uneducated is the general
public? Now I must make a plea to all of you. Please, please dont give
up hope.
Continue to fight this barbaric system, continue to fight the injustice
at Polunsky, continue no matter what, no matter how hopeless it looks.
I had an execution date in 1998 that almost made me lose hope, but a
friend, Martin Draughon, and my cellie at that time gave me an address
to a wonderful lady named Tina Church. I call her Angel and many of the
guys call her Angel of Death Row. She came into our lives like a pit
bull, her tenacity and dedication to helping me was surprising but she
went straight to work and found me the attorneys I have now. They in
turn took over my case, got me a stay and have done such a wonderful
job. They performed this miracle. There is no way on this earth I can
ever thank them enough.
Susan Mike and Andrew, you are truly and forever my heroes. I also want
to thank Mandy Welch and Raoul Schonneman and all the other attorneys
at Texas Defender Service.
I have written to so many people these last 11 years. It amazed me how
many people truly care about a down and out man on death row, some of
them from remote villages in Europe, and some in big cities all over
the world. Gloria and Nancy, Thank You. My good friend Sabine who many
of you know is one of the most dedicated people who fight the death
penalty I have ever met. She is a caring person with a heart as big as
Texas. Reidun, that I just met last year who already has a special
place in my heart She is funny, caring and dedicated to the fight
against the death penalty. Erica my little Italian Sister with her boy
trouble and schoolwork has been my pen pal the longest we have written
since 1983. Marc the retired history teacher in France, always has
wonderful tid bits of history for me. Lady Diane, Eleanor and Rodney,
my English pen pals you have been wonderful as well. Dagny my world
events pen pal cares so much about the people of the world and
her dog Bastian, her faithful companion. Aine, Hey you smile. Aine is
so cool, so full of life and her smile will dazzle you. She has also
been a very caring friend to Mom, Irene you are a very special friend
and will always be. There is no way I can name everyone but please know
all of you have made a big difference in the lonely hell of death row.
Pen pals mean so much to so many.
Now for my beautiful caring loving Paula, with this chance Paula and I
have so much to look forward to. a bright future that I know will
endure any hardship. This is one wonderful woman who has brought love
and light back into my life. Thank you Paula. you are my life.
Most of all thank you Mom and Les the two of you who have
stayed there for me throughout the whole nightmare. They lived for 8
years in a small travel trailer about as big as most peoples living
rooms, surviving day by day, enduring the Texas heat and other things
just to be close enough to visit whenever Mom was up to it. She was out
there in her wheelchair every protest while others sat in their cars
and wouldn’t participate. Mom I love you. Les you are a good man and I
love you too.
Last but really first I give thanks and praise to a loving God, a
giving God, who made this chance possible It is because of our
Father in Heaven that I will one day be a free man. Thank you God for
your guidance. I wont waste this second chance you have given me. This
last 11 years has given me many lessons to live by. I have learned some
easily and some were pounded into me with brutal force. All of them
have made me a better man, but the most important lesson I can pass on
is to say ,never ever give up, never lose hope because you never know
what God has planned for you. You never know what miracle will happen
that will give you a second chance at life. I have mine and will not
waste it. I will continue to grow spiritually and mentally. I will use
the knowledge I have to help others and I will continue in some form or
fashion to fight the death penalty. That is a pledge I made to myself
because even though I am walking away with emotional scars I left a big
part of me behind. 11 years of my life, friends I will never forget.
These next few years I will try to better myself. I want to get as much
education as I can and learn about the world today because I know
it is a different place than the one I left behind 11 years ago. I
don’t want to go back without having a good grasp of what I face, with
the help of Paula and my family and friends I am sure I will make it.
If anyone wants to write feel free. I am entering an unknown world and
friends are welcome to write and help through this. I look forward to
hearing from you. Again I urge everyone to keep hope, continue to fight
and educate everyone about the madness we all know as Death Row.
Thank you everyone.
In struggle and solidarity
Paul Colella
#1180878
Byrd Unit
PO Box 100
Huntsville Texas
77342-0100
Paul
Colella
#1180878
Smith Unit
1313 County Road 19
Lamesa TX
79331-1898
I will update my address
when I leave here and all mail will be
forwarded to me.