"A DAY IN A THOUGHT"
"The rich get richer and the poor get poorer." Sounds like a clichè movie scene or a line from a book doesn´t it ! Well today it´s not. These were one of the last statements my own court appointed attorney said to me as I was given the Death Sentence. I don´t think I felt the same since. I´ve only ever read one accomulation of words that automatically made me relive the day, the day of how bitter, sour and sick my stomach turned at that was Revelations 10: 8-10. This would be the beginning of my Reality Check, but would not be my last ! Now at 20 years old (one of the youngest as you know) I sit among a valley of Death, but it is now Death Row that has become my teacher and listener.
Death Row - it´s a very hollow word to me. It´s a word that I´ve only come to relate to as violent, but in Reality we all know its # 1 relation is Revenge. Just the word itself weighs heavy on the Human mind and I will not deny that it is TORMENT to my mind. They say, "Prison is what you make it to be," now we couldn´t just turn this into a Caribbean cruise or a picnic now could we ? NO ! My world is filled with descriptions that have seldomly been capturd in words. So, my journey is to gain a new Consciousness.
"The mind is of dealiest foes, but the most usefull of servants. When it turns wild and gets out of control, it heads for certain destruction. When properly awakened and controlled, there is no limit to what it can do."
It seems like everday Texas gladly kills someone. In a "so-called" Christian Country. It´s hard to fathom how men do this in the name of God. Then they wonder why it´s so hard for the up and coming youths to embrace and accept the "religion" they teach.
As I contemplate my surroundings I see men whose been here Longer than I´ve been alive. Such thoughts begin to take a toll in my life. - Why and/or How ? Well, at the same time I can sit up and have a conversation with a man one night, and the next night he has been "pushed" off this EARTH, thus toll is:
- What´s Life and Death ?
- Are my thoughts my enemy ?
- Can I build strength from my thoughts ?
- How can I continue to reach for goals looking at the things I see ?
In a way of speaking, thought makes giants out of dwarfs and often turns giants into dwarfs. History is filled with accounts of how thought has made weak men strong and strong men weak, and I see evidence of its workings around me constantly.
I cannot come to you as a perfect man of a perfect past and I will no longer use the excuse of I´m not perfect. In every situation and culture we must stop using excuses for our failures and find solutions.
I am in the process of suffering grave Misjustices. From a wrongful and mistaken conviction, to blatant conspiracies to keep me from fighting my case by the courts, to a case of admitted guilt by another man, but because the state of Texas would prefer to kill a man than show they were wrong, my pleas will be sought to be silenced by any means they can provide. I want my voice to be heard and I will fight diligently for this. In my own philosophy I say, "Sometimes the longest way around is the shortest way to the Light. And the darkest part of the night is right before the day break. But, the sun shines just a little brighter after the storm is all over."
My storm has just begun. As I look around at this madness I try to gain Peace and Understanding. I must speak out and attain help, but I can not do this on my own and can´t do it without our compassionate members of our society. Contact me if you will, allow me to share all my facts with you. In the struggle for liberation I will say, DO NOT LET ME BE A VOICE UNHEARD !
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