There are many out there who will not share my views and that is to be expected, but I am not writing this to try and change anyones mind, only to open their mind to whats real. I myself am an inmate on "deathrow". I was convicted of two (2) counts of first (1st) degree murder. 

I see programs on a daily basis about executions. How the victim's family want to see the killer executed. How it will bring a closure to their lives. How it is deemed "humane" to strap a person to a gurney and fill them with poison. How they turn a few shades of color, take a few gaps of air and die. 
My question is: How can, as a human being, this be any kind of closure, knowing that you have partisipated in and responcible for the same thing that this person was executed for?
There is no logic here. It is sad when a person takes the life of another human being. That life can never be brought back. That life can never experience the happiness that life has to offer. The killer shouldn't be able to continue to experience happiness, because it just don't seem fair. We see it as the killer took the life of some one, so they shouldn't be able to continue to live, but what happiness is there in knowing that you will never again do the things that you used to do. In knowing that every day, for the rest of your life, that do your actions, you have taken so much happiness from people and replaced it with pain and hurt. If you are of solid mind, this is a torment that you can't get away from. If you aren't of sound mind, it really doesn't matter.

Emotions is the most tramatic thing one can experience. 
It is what makes us feel pain, hurt, revenge. Does one who is executed feel pain? It is said that it is painless. So if what we seek is to inflict pain upon the one who took our loved one away, then executing them isn't accomplishing what we seek. They are executed, but it is the family who partisipated in the execution who still feels and lives with the pain. Isn't it the killer who is suppose to feel and bare the pain? Then we say, "Well, the killer is dead and it is over with". Yes the killer is dead, but it will never be over with, because every time we see a picture or hear the name of the loved one, we will feel the pain over and over again. The killers won't because they are dead. We let the pain we feel override all else and with the government allowing us to kill legally, we think it's fair, that it will give us peace. But once it is over you will still bare the pain that was caused to you in the beginning. 

Now I'm not saying don't execute the killer, but I ask this: Wouldn't it be more satisfying knowing that for the rest of their life, the killers will feel and bare the same pain as the family members? To know that they will never be able to do the normal, happy things that life offers. They speak of TV,video games, visits, outdoor recreation, how an inmate gets by in prison. But with all those things, it still doesn't take away the pain of knowing that it is all you have, all you will ever have. Like the ones who were killed, you will never be able to go places with your children, watch them grow up, spend precious moments with your wife, have children, feel a sense of belonging, be there when they need you, attend their funerals. There is no life in prison. I think the family members of those killed should give the suffering to the one who done the killing. But there is no suffering in death. We all know what it is like to feel the loss of a loved one.

Having to live with that loss, knowing you are responcible for that loss, there is no pain greater. Especially when you are confined and reminded of it every single day. Setting the pain aside for a moment, this is what is real, this is what the true punishment should be. For the only pain there will be in executing some one, will be that of their families and that of the families of the loved ones, that of the pain they will experience each time they have to walk away from them that will send the rest of their lives in prison. 

It's hard to even understand why such a superior being would want to cause pain to another anyway, but that is our nature for some reason. It is a sad world in which we live, but to ever have peace, we must first understand what it is. 

We know that taking a life is morally wrong, yet we continue to lower ourselves to the level of that. Which we condemn, why do we continue to do this? Be we think it will make us feel better, that we are owed for our loss with the life of he who created the loss. So in short this is not about how much money it cost to execute some one or how to get even, but in fact what is "right". Killing can never be right and we shouldn't kill to show it's wrong to kill. We say it's wrong to kill, so there should never be a double standard to this. We live by standards, morals and law. They all say killing is wrong. None of them say it's right or our society wouldn't do it to show a point. 

Violence will never be stopped by violence. It will only be stopped by those seeking peace. 

This is only one deathrow inmates opinion, but even as the monster I have been labeled, I know the truth. I am still a human being with feelings and pain and whether I am executed or not will not change what has occured. What will change will be another life taken to show once again that killing is wrong. How many times will it have to be shown before we understand that it's wrong? There may be many that laugh at this, but I know in my heart that as they are laughing; deep inside they know there is truth in what I say. Whether or not they react is their decision. It's some thing they must live with until they stand before that which gave life to them. 

May your heart be filled with peace, your life filled with joy and your mind filled with understanding.

Carman Deck

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