In Memoriam Gerald Mitchell
On October 22, 2001, Gerald "Polo" Mitchell was executed by the state of Texas. Polo was my longest surviving friend here on Death Row. I met him on the second day of my arrival, June 10, 1987. A friendship grew that lasted past the grave because I indeed, received a letter from him the Monday following his execution.
I've debated since then whether I should share these intimate thoughts that he expressed to me ... his fears, anxieties, and apprehensions. I've decided that I will share them because anyone reading these words needs to know what he went through during his final hours here on Earth. It give some insight as to who he was as a person.
I will not try to use words to shape your opinion either way. He speaks well for himself.
I pray that this missive finds you hale and hearty. No words are really necessary. You know already thatI appreciate your friendship greaty, as well do I appreciate all the help that you have given to me.
Right now is a very troubling season. It is Saturday night. Two nights - well - a night in a 1/2 actually - away till the scheduled day of my possible execution (murder). Needless to say that I am on an emotional rollercoaster ride, an out of control one at that. There are so many letters that I still need to respond to. But it is very difficult right now for me to gather my thoughts together properly. There is so many different things on my mind, things that I would like to express. But am finding it very hard to do so, of course I'm not saying something to you that you don't already know, you yourself have been at this very point that I am at right now. Probably delt with the very same degree of emotional confusion that I myself am dealing with.
You know - we always feel that we have successfully mastered and enslaved self-control, emotional stability and strength. Believing that with them we can very easily withstand any adversity and psychological storm. But never is it as easy as we feed our minds into believing it is. This experience is truly a psychologically fatiguing one. It is threatening to pull me deeply into a well of depression, pain and suffering. But I'm a fighter, so I will do battle and try my very best to slay the beast.
I'm not good on goodbyes. So I wont offer it. But should the day of October 22nd arrive and then depart and take along with it - as an eteenal companion - my soul - then you and I will be out of eachother's Rasy reach until the year of the month of the week of the day of the hour of the minute of the second of the time that your role in this motion picture called life has reached it's terminus. Though I'd rather have your friendship closely at the reaching, I pray that your role in this life's motion picture is with very many more episodes. Hopefully this missive doesn't prove my epiloge. But should it prove to be, then my special friend, you hold it down while we are out of reach, and if you should shed a tear for me, make it a tear of happiness, happiness that I would be within heavens kingdom with my prince and savior. Happiness that I would be free of this hell hole in which I have been kept trapt within for so many years. This hell hole of a house of immurement.
Out of sight will not even lead to out of mind. You have a permanent home within my mind and heart.
My prayers and love is always with you.
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